Hey Ladies: Michigan Declares “Vagina” Dirty Word, Will Put You in Time Out for Using It

“I’m flattered you’re all so concerned about my vagina, but no means no.”

You might think that’s a snarky turn down to a creepy pickup line, but sadly it’s not. Those are the words Michigan State Representative Lisa Brown used in response to the anti-abortion bill the Michigan House was debating before she was declared out of order and banned from speaking by Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas Wednesday afternoon.

Vagina: such an offensive word we can’t even use it when talking about legislation that, you know, would legislate reproductive health which – newsflash! – includes vaginas.

In addition to Rep. Brown, Representative Barb Byrum was also barred from speaking. She had intended to speak about her amendment regarding vasectomies and later told The Huffington Post, “It's my impression that I'm being banned from speaking as a result of my use of the term vasectomy – a medical procedure.”

The spokesman for House Majority Leader Jase Bolger says that he banned these two women from speaking not because of their words but because of their actions. He went on to equate Byrum’s outcry on this legislation with a temper tantrum.

Neither woman knows when she will be allowed to speak on the House floor again.

So ladies, to recap: getting upset over legislation aiming to take away your reproductive rights is silly and makes you emotional; don’t act out on those silly emotions – if you do you’re just having a temper tantrum; and never use the anatomically correct language “vagina” ever again. “Hoo ha” is now the accepted term.

No word yet if “penis” is out or not.