Share Your Story or Your Mother's Story about the Challenges of Accessing Birth Control

My parents were married in 1950.  They were married in the Catholic church down a side isle because they were "mixed religions", my Mother was Catholic and my Dad was Methodist. I'm the youngest of 5 children and we were all raised Catholic.After I was born my parents wanted permisson to use birth control. My Mother went to the Catholic priest at the church and he told her "to live with your husband as your brother" so that they wouldn't produce any more children.  My parents switched religions because of that fact.  

I was sexually active (and very mature already) at age 16, with a very nice, slightly older boyfriend. When my Mom, a very old-fashioned lady, suspected I was up to something, her sex talk to me was this: "Don't come crying to me when you get in trouble."  I could never have spoken to her about birth control, or asked to see a doctor about it; she never even talked to me about menstruation or supplies. She gave me a book to read instead, and I handled everything myself.So, I trotted myself off to the pharmacy, where the only options available were contraceptive foam and condoms. Well, I didn't like condoms; we tried them once and I just found it very uncomfortable. So we used foam, religiously. Without fail. Every single time, following the directions to the letter. And I got pregnant.Of course, I still couldn't go to my Catholic mother; she'd told me not to come crying to her, and I was afraid my parents would throw me out of the house in shame. In 1979, it was just not acceptable in a nice, white neighborhood to have a pregnant daughter. So, although at that time, in my naivete, I was anti-abortion (having been raised Catholic), and afraid that I was going to hell, I took my 16-year-old self off to Family Planning Associates. I am thankful to this day that they were there. The procedure wasn't fun, but it was safe, and affordable, the people there were kind and understanding, and there were no protestors calling me a baby-killer as I walked in the door. I walked out with a prescription for birth control pills, that I paid for myself. My Mom never found out. But HIS Mom found the receipt in his pocket. Being a much more modern, understanding lady, she asked me if I needed any help. I wish I could have talked to my own Mom, and I wish there had been more effective contraception available over the counter at that time.My life might have worked out okay otherwise, but it also very well might not have; it might have interfered with my education, forced me to marry ridiculously young, or otherwise ruined me. Contraception and abortions, when necessary, need to be safe and available to everyone. All women have a right to OUR lives. And no one should be forced to inflict an unhappy life on a baby. All babies should be wanted, or they shouldn't be forced to be born.

Not sure this is appropriate here, but I, too, have been stewing over the possibility (and reality) of contraception and abortion being more difficult to get. I wrote this piece for my local newspaper (Davis Enterprise, Davis, Calif.). I thought about my grandmother and her 10 babies and three abortions. Thanks for the important work you all do. Lyra Halprinhttp://www.davisenterprise.com/opinion/opinion-columns/a-necessary-rewind-on-womens-right-to-choose/ April 12, 2012 | Posted by Special to The EnterpriseA necessary rewind on a woman’s right to chooseThis photo of Davis families was published Jan. 22, 1987, in The Davis Enterprise as part of an ad honoring the anniversary of the 1973 Roe v. Wade U.S. Supreme Court decision. The ad reads: "Pro choice is pro family. No one loves their children and families more than we do. And no one understands more than we that a woman's difficult decision about an unplanned pregnancy is her own." Courtesy photo      By Lyra Halprin Ten births, three abortions — that’s what I know about my grandmother Anne. During her childbearing years, 1911 through the 1920s in Austria, Canada and the United States, it was almost impossible for women to access birth control.She raised her children in Cleveland, where the first birth control clinic — a Planned Parenthood forerunner — opened in 1928. A woman who committed suicide by stepping off a Lake Erie pier because she was pregnant for the 10th time inspired clinic founders.The clinic faced threats from government authorities, the Catholic Church and other religious groups, the same ones who are undermining women’s rights today — my hands clench in anger when I think about it. I remind myself that women’s health has always been a “two-steps-forward, one-step-back” process; counting on common sense and decency is not what keeps us healthy and safe. It’s persistence, courage and using our anger and experience that drives progress.But I am alarmed at the campaigns to cut government funding for women’s health, eviscerate abortion services and strip contraception from services covered in President Obama’s health care plan. I’m exhausted thinking about what’s at stake here —but I’m not giving up. My Grandma Anne left Austria-Poland after her first child was born in 1912. She and my grandfather were turned back at Ellis Island because he had pink eye. Instead, they entered Canada, and had five children in Montreal. They eventually immigrated to the United States.By the time I graduated from college in the 1970s, Planned Parenthood and other community clinics were helping women get needed care: treatment for bladder infections, mammograms, birth control pills, Pap tests and abortions.But now we’re living in a climate of lies — Planned Parenthood clinics are closing all over the country as state and federal lawmakers come under increasing pressure to withhold funding. Eighty new restrictions on abortion rights were enacted by state legislatures in 2011. Arizona’s proposed legislation would let employers demand that women using birth control pills provide proof they’re using them for non-sexual reasons.I knew we’d have to remain vigilant to hang on to these rights. I just didn’t think that we’d be called upon to fight the same battles so soon.For inspiration about how to fight the latest anti-woman tide, I dug out three photo advertisements that appeared in The Davis Enterprise in the 1980s.My friends Diane, Lynn, Elaine and I, with Yolo County NOW, arranged for an ad on the 12th anniversary of the landmark Supreme Court abortion rights decision Roe v. Wade, when the clinic in our town that performed abortions was picketed and vandalized. The ad shows several babies on my living room couch — one is my daughter, Julia, who sits near twins Emily and Rose.“No one understands more than we that a woman’s difficult decision about an unplanned pregnancy is between her conscience and her God,” the caption read. “Today we celebrate 12 years of choice.”The second ad, on the 14th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, shows families and friends at a playground. We’re at the swings, my cheerful son grinning at the camera, my daughter staring straight ahead.“No one loves their children or families more than we do, and we also support choice in reproductive health,” the ad reads. Two years later, on the 16th anniversary, seven children and babies are in our ad.I’m comforted when I remember other ways to take action. Letters to the editor make a difference. Emails nudge friends to act. Can I say how much I like Facebook and Twitter? I “share” good ideas online and am happy to reach women who aren’t aware of what they may lose.I vote for candidates who support reproductive rights. I take heart when I see the courage of young women like Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown law student Republicans refused to let testify when they convened an all-male panel on birth control coverage in mid-February.When conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh called Fluke a “slut” and challenged her to post sex videos, millions of Americans were outraged. Thanks to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Fuke got the chance to testify.When the Virginia legislature debated cruel legislation requiring that all women seeking abortions have invasive transvaginal ultrasounds, comedienne Amy Poehler skewered this outrageous idea on “Saturday Night Live.” Embarrassed by the backlash, Virginia lawmakers modified the law.We must use our talents in art, economics and politics to nail down our rights again and again — and be persistent like those who came before us, moving forward in as many steps as it takes.— Lyra Halprin wrote this piece, which is signed by the other three women who arranged the 1985 ad in The Davis Enterprise — Diane Adams, Lynn Schimmel and Elaine Fingerett — and two of the now-grown-up babies in the ad, Julia Halprin Jackson and Rose Wilkinson.Halprin is a writer whose commentaries have appeared on NPR, Capital Public Radio and KQED, and in area newspapers and online venues. She worked for more than 20 years as a public information officer for the University of California and UC Davis sustainable agriculture programs. Short URL: http://www.davisenterprise.com/?p=158022

My parents married in 1969.  Although the pill wasn't new then, my mother said that OBs would only give it to married women, and they had to have their husbands come to the office and sign a release form.  She thought that was off and questioned it and the OB staff said "well honey what if your husband wants to have a baby?"  Mom also said back then OBs were self regulating by doing this - imposing their morals and beliefs on others regardless of what their patients needed or wanted. Government needs to get out of healthcare.  Healthcare decisions should be between a woman and her physician.  The doctors own religion and morals should not affect the care that the patient recieves.  Government should not be limiting what services women have access to.  There's so many different reasons a woman may need or want certian services, and it is up to her and her physician to decide what is the best course of action.  Government STAY OUT OF MY VAGINA!