Share Your Story or Your Mother's Story about the Challenges of Accessing Birth Control
It's been nearly fifty years since the Supreme Court's landmark decision in Connecticut v Griswold striking down state bans on birth control. Since then, contraception has become so central to women's lives that 98 percent of women use it at some point during our reproductive years. Yet we still see politicians re-litigating accessible, affordable contraception and other women's health needs.
Have you ever asked your mom, aunt, grandmother, or another loved one in your life what challenges she had gaining access to birth control? We want to hear the stories!
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Your Stories
Eleanor
, Kentucky,
My mother shared with me her story of wanting to have a tubaligation after I, her fourth child was born in 1953. Not only was she in bad health but my father was practically no help to her physically, financially or emotionally. The law prohibited her without the husband's signature. "Of course," she told me, "your father refused to sign. He said,"You'll have as many babies as I can make."She proceeded to find the neighborhood "wino" and bribed him with a bottle of wine to sign my father's name and somehow convinced Daddy the hospital stay was for some other ailment. This was her secret until 1984, when I discovered I was pregnant with my third child. With my heart condition,the OBGYN recommended I think seriously about this child being my last. I discussed with my husband my desire to have the tubal during the C-Section delivery of our child on the way. I was shocked by his response.It was almost identical to my father's! Needless to say, the law had changed by then (fortunately) and my signature was the only one needed.On the next visit to the OBGYN I signed the papers. Shortly thereafter, I divorced him! My mother and I both made our own decisions about our reproductive health and were able to live long enough to enjoy our grandchildren. Women should never neglect to support our right to birth control!
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judith sanders
fredericksburg, VA,
Back in the '50s I went to school with a boy who had no hands because his mother had been prescribed thalidomide. Then when I was a young woman I was on the verge of having the Dalkon Shield IUD implanted when news about it being unsafe broke. Then, when I was 48, I developed menorhagia, fairly common in premenopausal women. Imagine my great surprise when my pharmacist wanted to argue with me about my birth control prescription! According to this ignorant younger man, I should submit to a painful and invasive procedure to stop excessive bleeding so that I wouldn't tread on HIS religious scruples! It's time that men stop using women as guinea pigs for medicine and for political gain.I'll be blunt- I don't want to pay taxes to help raise children someone didn't want to have in the first place. Concentrate on collecting all the unpaid child support before even thinking about making birth control hard to obtain.
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Sylvia Salter
Fort Myers, FL, "Retired"
This story is in case the ridiculous Republicans win. I began contraception in 1957, since my husband was in school for a Ph.D. and mine was the only salary. I used the diaphragm and jelly (Koromex) for 5 years, then stopped briefly, got pregnant almost immediately (a planned pregnancy), and had enough sickleave & vacation accumulated to take off work and nurse my daughter for 6 weeks. There was no doubt this contraception worked while I used it. After 2 more years of working, my husband got a teaching job, and 9 months before he began in September, I "tested" the diaphragm and jelly: You're supposed to cover it completely with the jelly, insert it correctly (making sure the back part is tucked in as well as the front part, so no spaces are left around the edge of the diaphragm), and then, just before sex, use the tube to add more jelly. And douche before removing it a certain number of hours after sex, usually the next morning. But if you might need it that next day before nighttime, you can leave the diaphragm in; however, if you have sex again, you must add another tube of jelly first! That's how I tested it ~ I didn't add more jelly the 2nd time! I figured there was some jelly left from the night before, but I wanted my next baby when my husband started work in September, so this was a good time to see if you had to remember all the instructions to keep "safe" with the diaphragm. You do! My baby was born September 1st. So the diaphragm and jelly are very safe alternatives to the pill, IF YOU FOLLOW ALL THE INSTRUCTIONS. In those 7 years, and many years after my 2nd child, it ALWAYS prevented pregnancy, and I did get pregnant the minute I stopped it or took chances by not obeying the rules. So if pills become too expensive because Republicans find a way to deny coverage, we can always fall back on that. But it's inconvenient in many ways, so the wives of the men in Congress should be forced to try this method, or the females in Congress, so they'd see what women would go through if they deny coverage for the pill.
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Polly Monear
Austin, TX, Community College Administrator
Lack of access to birth control has had a profound impact on my family. I grew up in a medium-sized mid-western town – one of four kids in a blue-collar family. My dad had a full-time job at the gas company during the day and did odd jobs at night, and my mom was a stay-at-home mom who babysat and did laundry for wealthy families to try to make ends meet. My parents had a hard time accessing birth control, and that resulted in an 18 year spread in their children's ages. My two older brothers are 15 and 10 years older than me, and my younger brother is 3 years younger than me. This was not what my parents wanted, but their options were almost non-existent. I remember my mother’s careful marks on the calendar, and her advice that I should not trust the rhythm method, even though I had no idea what that was at the time. Both of my older brothers had to get married at 19 because their girl friends were pregnant. Both of those marriages ended in divorce. Our parents loved us, but it was obvious that they were always stressed and exhausted by providing for so many children. Over time, my father became more and more depressed and my mother became bitter about how her life had turned out. They divorced after 43 years of marriage. In 1973 I got my first period. When I told my mother, she wept but she seemed happy. She told me that life was going to be better for me than it was for her. I didn’t understand at the time, but this was right after abortion became legal. She told me that if abortion had been legal and birth control easier to get, both my brothers would not have had to get married and she would not have had 4 children. My mom was very involved in the church we belonged to and was an outspoken advocate for choice in the church. She made sure I knew that if I became pregnant, I had the right to decide whether or not to have the child. She did not want me to be sexually active before marriage, but she knew from experience that was not realistic. More than anything, my mom wanted me to be able to plan my pregnancies and not have the same difficulties that she struggled with in her life. At 17, I started taking the pill. I was able to go to college and live on my own for a few years after school. I got married at 28 and stopped taking the pill because I was worried about how it was affecting my fertility – I shouldn’t have worried! A year later, thanks to a broken condom, I became pregnant. My husband and I were not ready to be parents – he was applying to grad school and I was starting a career. We made the choice to have an abortion. When I turned 32 my husband and I felt that we were ready to have a child. We only wanted one child, and that’s what we have. Now our son is 17 and we make sure that he knows how to be responsible, respectful, and careful. My mom was right – life is easier for me than it was for her. I am grateful for that, and I am determined not to go back to the days of forced parenthood. I vote pro-choice and pro-contraception because I know it’s important for every baby to be wanted. Frankly, I am very angry that we still have to fight for our reproductive rights. Think how much progress we could be making on other issues if we didn’t have to spend so much time and energy on protecting rights that were established decades ago!
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Janice Luippold
West Springfield, Massachusetts, Retired
I was forced into marriage at the age of 17 because I was adopted and my adopted mother feared that I would be "promiscuous" as my biological mother was and she did not want to bear that "shame." My marriage was arranged. I had three babies in two and a half years, I was in a loveless marriage and felt like I could not go on. Fortunately after my last child was born in 1961 the "pill" was made available to me by my physician. It saved my life. I got out of my loveless marriage went on to receive an M.ED and raised my children on my own. To deny birth control to women is inhuman. (By the way,I met my birth mother when I was an adult and she was not in anyway promiscuous. She never married, was a nurse and stayed home and cared for her ailing parents until their death.)
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Pam Warren
Escondido, CA,
I was fortunate to live in a time and state that protected a woman's right to choose effective contraception and whether or not, to become a mother. My mom, on the other hand, grew up a "good Catholic" and was not so fortunate. When she miscarried two of her 6 pregnancies, she was actually relieved, as she had no control over her own fertility.I don't think people, especially young women who thought these rights were guaranteed, and men who tend not to consider women's health an issue, realize the impact this issue will have on our country. Girls and women without access to effective birth control and no right to choose, will have more children than they want or can provide for. Without accessable and safe clinics, they may try to self-abort, and they will die. We will return to a dark time when women were not considered equal citizens. As it is, no matter the sacrifice or contribution to society, women who choose to stay home to raise their children, have never been respected by society as a whole.
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Ramona Rhoades
, Panama,
I know my parents used condoms after I was born in 1932, as the doctor told them she would likely not survive another pregnancy. My mother showed them to me in the mid '40s. After marriage and having the first of three children I used a diaphragm from 1953 until the pill was introduced in 1960. In 1967 my daughter was put on "the pill" by her doctor to control her menstrual cycle, which was wildly erratic. There was never any question about the medical decision, and the use of the contraceptive DEFINITELY did not make her promiscuous.Incidentally, we lived in Virginia when saner minds were in politics. Now we cannot say the same of many who are our "leaders".
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D Jones
Hillsborough, new jersey, retired
When i read these I realize how lucky I was to be in Union County NJ when I got married.I talked to the doctor and he gave me the prescription for the pills and told me how to use them.Several doctors later, the types were changed but I was kept on them until the news came out about them being dangerous. Then I was taken off them by my doctor. The entire time, everything was out front and informative for me. This started in 1969 after we were married. Everyone I knew was on them.Mom didn't need them or want them as they tried to have a few children. Her first was stillborn and I came along and could have been a poster child for the March of Dimes which I am a volunteer for. After that, they never had another child.
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Stephanie
Phoenix, AZ, Retail
The week before she committed suicide, my mother told me that I have an older sistersomewhere. She and my father "got carried awaand before he left for Vietnam and she got pregnant. She told him and he denied that it was his. My grandmother didn't tell my mom anything about sex or birth control. When my mom told her mom she was pregnant, she was hidden at home and forbidden to go out in public. Arrangements were made for an adoption where the agency wouldpay all of the hospital bills. Someonedropped the ball, though, and they sent my grandfather the bill. He was no longer with my grandmother and knew nothing of the pregnancy. My mom was called a slut and told over and over that no one would ever want her, so when my dad came home, she ran off with him to escape her home. My mother was adamant about sex education and made sure that I knew what she wasn't told. I was 18 when I learned about her past and a week later, she took her life leaving me a note with details on how to find my sister. When I got married ten years later, my grandmother explained that as a wife I would have "certain duties that would probably be unpleasant" and that I use that time to plan menus or grocery lists. I blurted out, "Oh my God, you've never had an orgasm?". Thanks to my mom's efforts, I was having a fabulous protected sex life. It breaks my heart that the women in my family had so much shame and secrecy. It didn't have to be that way. I've worked hard for reproductive rights spent years working in a clinic. I am passionate that women have control over their own bodies. I've seen what happens when they don't and it pisses me off that we still have to fight.
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t logan
, TX,
During the Dpression the late 20's my mother and her sister became orphans, at age 5 and 3, because their mother and father had separated, but she found she was pregnant and terminated it by abortion perfomed in some non-hospital setting. Their mother died, which affected my mother and her sister profoundly. They lost their mother, my great gramother lost her daughter. No woman should have to resort to desperate measures or be judged by invasive disinterested parties about her private health and reproductive choices. Humans have now overpopuated the planet, causing environmental imbalance, yet pandering politicians are still leveraging and politicizing a woman's choice, while cutting funding to the underpriviledged - surely, most Americans find the hipocrasy intolerable and offensive. Rise up ladies!!
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