Share Your Story or Your Mother's Story about the Challenges of Accessing Birth Control

I know my parents used condoms after I was born in 1932, as the doctor told them she would likely not survive another pregnancy.  My mother showed them to me in the mid '40s.  After marriage and having the first of three children I used a diaphragm from 1953 until the pill was introduced in 1960.  In  1967 my daughter was put on "the pill" by her doctor to control her menstrual cycle, which was wildly erratic. There was never any question about the medical decision, and the use of the contraceptive DEFINITELY did not make her promiscuous.Incidentally, we lived in Virginia when saner minds were in politics. Now we cannot say the same of many who are our "leaders".

The week before she committed suicide, my mother told me that I have an older sistersomewhere.  She and my father "got carried awaand before he left for Vietnam and she got pregnant.  She told him and he denied that it was his.   My grandmother didn't tell my mom anything about sex or birth control.  When my mom told her mom she was pregnant, she was hidden at home and forbidden to go out in public.  Arrangements were made for an adoption where the agency wouldpay all of the hospital bills.  Someonedropped the ball, though, and they sent my grandfather the bill.  He was no longer with my grandmother and knew nothing of the pregnancy.  My mom was called a slut and told over and over that no one would ever want her, so when my dad came home, she ran off with him to escape her home.  My mother was adamant about sex education and made sure that I knew what she wasn't told.  I was 18 when I learned about her past and a week later, she took her life leaving me a note with details on how to find my sister.  When I got married ten years later, my grandmother explained that as a wife I would have "certain duties that would probably be unpleasant" and that I use that time to plan menus or grocery lists.  I blurted out, "Oh my God, you've never had an orgasm?". Thanks to my mom's efforts, I was having a fabulous protected sex life.  It breaks my heart that the women in my family had so much shame and secrecy.  It didn't have to be that way.  I've worked hard for reproductive rights spent years working in a clinic.  I am passionate that women have control over their own bodies.  I've seen what happens when they don't and it pisses me off that we still have to fight.

I've had the experience of discovering that birth control was very hard to find. When I was 19 years old, I became sexually active, and I wanted to obtain birth control pills. Most of the New England states at that time (1966) still had "Blue Laws" which stated only married women could be prescribed contraceptives---including the diaphragm and the pill. I managed to find an a 72-year-old OB/gyn physician in Boston who was willing to prescribe oral contraceptives for me.  I had to travel by bus for 6 hours round trip in order to keep my appointment with this physician, but it was well worth it.

My grandmother had a back alley abortion because she had no access to birth control.  This was in the 1920's.  When she became pregnant again - they were still barely making ends meet for the two of them - her doctor told her that she had the flu. . .until it was too late for her to terminate the pregnancy.  She gave birth to my mom.  Both my grandmother and my mom have been strong advocates for a woman's right to choose.  Margaret Sanger was a common name in our household.  I was given the information I needed to access birth control, at Planned Parenthood.  A diaphram in my early twenties, and then the pill for several years.  I had my tubes tied in my late 30's, as I was single, and felt that it was too late in life for me to have a child.  This was in the late 80's.  My doctor was very supportive and respectful of my decision.