Share Your Story or Your Mother's Story about the Challenges of Accessing Birth Control

My mom had no access to any form of birth control as was typical in the South in the 1920's-1930's-1940's-1950's-1960's. Dad used condoms in the 1950's but prior to then nothing was available for them. When I first got married and lived in the "progressive" (read that "recessive because that is what it was and alas often today still is) South, we had no access we could afford to any birth control. It was not until we moved North in 1970 that we finally had access to birth control we could afford. It was like we were living in the 17th Century when it can to human sexuality. This is America and that is just as wrong as if we lived in the most repressive dictatorship in the world.

I was pregnant with our first child when we moved to Massachusetts in 1960 because my husband was serving six months in the U.S. Army and was assigned to a National Guard unit in New Hampshire and I had a fellowship for graduate school. I attended Brandeis University and lived outside Boston. My obstetrician was Catholic, of course, and cauterized my uterus about six weeks after a successful birth. I knew contraception was illegal in the state, but a friend referred me to a female doctor who examined me and gave me a diaphragm with holes to "practice." Since we moved to the Cape shortly after that, I "practiced" a lot until the fall, when we moved back to Syracuse, N.Y. Planned Parenthood was one of my first stops. I was prescribed another diaphragm, which worked fine as it was another three years before our second son was born, another two for our daughter. I didn't want to stop at just one or two. After our daughter, my very understanding male obstetrician fitted me with an IUD, which I wore for about 10 years. At that time we had settled in North Carolina and my husband, after consulting with me, had a vasectomy. Now our only problem is finding the right dosage for Viagra.

In 1968 my mother died unexplectantly at the age of 42.  She had four children ages 6-16 at the time.  She had not been well for several years but the doctors could never figure out what the problem was.  Taking care of 4 children was difficult given her health problems and the fact that our father, who worked as a civilian engineer for the Air Force,  often had to be away from home for months at a time work.    So it was understandable that she was on birth control pills--in fact she was the only person I knew who was.  When she died she was in the hospital and the doctor ordered an autopsy and asked that specifically look to see any evidence that the birth control pills had contributed to her death.  I was 16 at the time and I clearly remember this concern.  The autopsy showed she died frm polyarteritis a degenerative and fatal collapsing of the blood vessels for which no cause was known at the time.  I don't know if she had difficulty accessing the birth control pills but the whole episode made me realize how little people knew about the "PILL" and its effects. 

My Mothers Mother (Gran) had an illegal abortion during the depression.  She had 2 children at the time and was barely able to feed them.  The abortion left her unable to have more children when times got better and this was a great tragedy in her life.Before my mother married shewas fitted for a diaphragm.  This is not the best type of birth control for a married couple.  Mom had 2 more children than she had planned on.  Dad was very happy with this.When I decided to become sexually active, I went to planned parenthood and asked for the pill.  THe doctor told me I had to bring in a wedding invitation to get birth control.  I went back to my fiancee and cried all over him.  We used condoms and were nervous.  We eventuallly married and had 2 children.  I have never been pregnant when I did not want to be but it has taken thought and good planning.I will say that once I was married no one hassled me about birth control but things are getting worse on that front.My Daughter-in-law NEVER wanted to have children.  She first tried to get her tubes tied when she was 18.  She has never succeeded with that goal.  The best she was able to do was Norplant.  When the Norplant needed to be renewed, she found it was no longer available in the USA.  She is now in her 40s and has opted for a helical plug that plugs and scars her fallopian tubes.  She did not want my son to have a vasectomy because she knew that if she "walked in front of a bus"  he might remarry and want children.